The Most Self-Absorbed Generation

Andrew R. Duckworth

Social media, the thing that connects us all. There’s plenty to love about it. As a tool for keeping people connected across long distances and for spreading awareness, it serves its purpose. And there’s plenty to hate about it as well. (Cue long-winded complaint)

Recently, I was distracted by a string of endless reels—one after the next and seemingly random. I think it began as rollercoaster POVs which I have, for some reason, become obsessed with. Of course, rollercoaster POVs became highway traffic incident reels which became storm videos which became a slew of other things. Eventually, I landed on a video that speaks volumes about where we are as a society.

In the video, two young ladies are descending down an escalator, making dumb, puffy lipped faces (young women, and some men, have fooled themselves, for some reason, into thinking this is in the slightest bit attractive). Behind them is a woman quite a bit older, assumed by her aged tone of voice and gray hair. As these two younger women are filming, the older lady leans down and gently says, “please don’t film.” What follows, predictably, is an embittered tirade by these two self-absorbed individuals, the one holding the cellphone camera telling the older woman to never get in her personal space again.

In today’s society, we might be fooled into thinking that the older woman was in the wrong. After all, there’s something to be said about our own space and making sure our own space is not invaded. Initially, I’ll admit, I was a bit put off by it as well. Yet, after rewatching it, which I, ashamedly, did quite a number of times, I found myself changing my mind… not just a little, but practically completely.

As it turns out, the woman had not invaded this young woman’s personal space, at least not in a defensible sense. Rather, it occurred to me that these people were in a crowded area and you can even hear the noise in the video. In fact, it is rather difficult to hear the older woman’s words. The woman was simply leaning down to ask them not to film. That leads to the next revelation that struck me. The older woman doesn’t say “DoN’t FiLm!!!!” in some needlessly aggressive tone. As previously mentioned, it’s barely audible. Rather, the woman, most likely, is trying to remain quiet in order to save the younger ladies embarrassment. The only individuals in the video making any sort of scene were the two young ladies composing the video.

So, why would I defend this older lady? Easy. I realized, not long after my second viewing, that I have been in her position… not just once, but plenty of times. I’ve been placed in positions where people, young and old, are filming themselves and also capturing my image. When I notice it, I do everything I can to hide myself or get out of frame. No one, after all, ever asked me if I wanted to be filmed. It seems as though the considerate thing to do would be to ask. However, our lives span both public and private, social and anti-social. We can’t expect that we will never find our image on social media when we are not expecting it. It is the consequence of living in such a space, a product of our time.

Yet, this bleeds into a larger issue. We have become the most self-absorbed group to ever grace the earth. We are constantly wanting to capture ourselves, immortalize self—either for memories or fame or money. Not two decades ago, no one walked around with their face in their phone. No one recorded themselves nonstop for likes and clicks. People saw each other, looked at each other, greeted each other, communicated with each other. Those days have vanished, replaced by constant focus on self. To be clear, this was not the initial purpose of social media. Initially, the idea was to tell our story to each other—a way of conveying something one to another (in other words, a new way of communicating). This evolved into getting more connected, whether it was through college, business, etc. Eventually, it became more about us than anything. Me, me, me, all about me. And, unfortunately, this mentality leapt off the screen and follows us everywhere. To a degree, our social lives married the screen and haven’t been the same since. Here we are, in a world where we can’t go anywhere without a screen present in some form.

The video that I began talking about ended with the young ladies berating the older woman for daring to ask them politely to not record her. Of course this is the case. Why wouldn’t it be? Recording people, nowadays, has become a weapon of sorts. Not only are we obsessed with self, but we also can’t give up the opportunity to embarrass someone by means of video footage. If people get in a public argument, the phone cameras come out on both sides. In some respect, one can actually identify with the need to capture one’s own experience of a situation. But, is that really the mentality most take? Of course not. The whole idea is public humiliation. Society seems hellbent on degrading others in some fashion. And it was the entire reason the reel of the two younger women and one older one was posted. No other explanation really suffices. The initial poster, presumably the one who took the video—that being one of the younger women—wanted to show how ridiculous the older woman behaved as a sort of “one up.” In text, the video ends with a mention that someone needs to learn some manners. Indeed, they do. I just don’t really think it is the person the poster thinks it is.

All of this brings us to the issue of the lack of self-reflection and the waning of awareness in general. It is on occasion a good thing to think about self. However, the good comes when we reflect on the impact we have around us. I often scoff at those that claim a person is “perfect exactly as they are.” No, they’re not. No, I’m not. We’re selfish creatures. In a way, we are still bound by that instinct of survival. But this has extended to far beyond the physical. We are concerned with social status, with economic status. The term “survival” is, at best, vague. Often, we don’t concern ourselves with others. We are too hellbent on “survival” when we need to get back to healthy self-reflection where we reflect on our actions and our impact on others. When we do this, we will be quick to realize we are far from perfect. The lack of self-reflection in society has led to an attitude of, ironically, moral superiority—a mentality that “I am right and I know I am.” We ignore how we treat others. In the case of the reel that I viewed, those recording a video had no awareness of who else they might be recording or how they might feel about it. They didn’t think to check their surroundings. In short, they didn’t care. It was entirely about them and no one else. Society needs a healthy dose of self-reflection. Otherwise, we will continue down the road of selfishness, having little awareness of those around us. Adults will be overgrown toddlers who, when challenged, will seek revenge rather than acknowledge faults. Can we turn from being the most self-absorbed generation? Who knows? I want to be optimistic, but I am also a realist with too much understanding of human psychology. Regardless of whether we blame parenting, environment, etc., we must at some point take responsibility and take a long look in the mirror.