What I Had No Name For

By Andrew R. Duckworth

Most just thought I was strange.
Can’t blame them- my eyes averting
Gazes, my mouth pursed in place.

Sometimes, I thought I was strange
As I was incapable of replicating
Social interaction like others.

Sometimes, others shamed me for it
And often I hated them for it,
Neither of us understanding.

I often hated my barely noticeable
Stutter that sounded loud like a
Bullhorn in my ears.

It made me feel better to blame
Others, to curse others, hate them
And watch their face as I spat.

To be clear, it wasn’t the autism.
It was my frustration of what,
At the time, I had no name for.